Lately, I feel as if my life is a speeding freight train, everything is in one big whirwind of a ride and sometimes I feel like I am being left behind. My weeks are all blurring together and although I have a set schedule, some days I can't remember if I work or not. I am almost to the point where I assume I work everyday and just put on my work clothes straight out of the shower. You can only imagine the dissapointment when I realize that I just got up and dressed for work at 7:30 A.M. on my day off and realize I could have slept in. Ugh.
School is slipping through my fingers, my assignmnets are beginning to pile up because I don't finish them on time and I don't finish them on time because I have a silly work schedule, I don't feel like I get enough sleep and because somewhere in all of that I am trying to fit in a social life. This is not good. School is important, I need my education and more than that, I SURE as hell can't afford to pay for and re-take any failed classes.
To mix this jumble of a mess even more, my mom and I decided to go ahead and add an insurance policy onto her already existing one in order to allow me to get my lump looked at sooner. It seems to have been alot of work lately, between calling and faxing and signing releases of information so that the insurance complany is up to speed on my medical history, I have found myself exhausted. But the good news is, this policy should kick in on the 15th (three days from now) and I have an appointment on the 27th. So, sooner than later I should be finding out whether or not I have breast cancer.
Other than all of that, things are well butI strangely enough find myself missing Kris. Yes, we're married and we live together and all, but it seems that the only time I see him is when I crawl into bed next to his already sleeping body at night. It's damn hard to get an evening off together let alone an entire day so sometimes I feel that I'm only seeing him in passing. I miss my boo. Hopefully we will soon have a day off together so I can get a healthy dose of the man I love.
Haging on with all my might,
Alyssa J.
FOR THE GLORY OF LOVE
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
When it rains it pours...
Lately I have been feeling a little down and out and in result have taken on the saying "when it rains, it pours", (It is all the more fitting that it is pouring outside as I blog this). Well, my recent problems started like this...
About two weeks ago, I found a lump in my breast and as much as I would like to entertain the hope that it is probably nothing, I can't because only a few years ago my mother was plagued with breast cancer and eventually treated with a mesectamy. The thought that I may have breast cancer is all too real and although I jest and try to stay light hearted in front of others, I am truely burdened by the possiblility. It's not that the loss of a breast, or even the loss of both breasts will be the end of the world, it's the possibliity of it spreading, the possibility that my husband may not find my flat and scarred chest attractive, the possibility that I may never have the chance to breastfeed when Kris and I decide to have a child. Oh the possibilities and how they are my woes.
If the possibilities weren't enough to stress me...the fact that I can't truely know what my lump is for another six months sure does the trick. Since I was laid off from Famous Dave's in December and just got my job at NFM a few weeks ago, I have no insurance and there is a six month waiting period for any policy to kick in. Six months is a long time, cancer can spread rapidly in that amount of time...and not to mention the agony of waiting and not knowing. The only other option I would have outside of waiting the six months for the insurance is to find some other policy right now and wait the three months that it will take to kick in...but we just don't have that kind of money.
Everything would be fine if my Mother wasn't constantly pushing me to make some sort of action. I can realize on my own that Kris and I have no money to deal with this right now, I can realize that and deal with it and I can patiently wait for when the day comes that I can get this figured out. But with my Mother constantly calling and pushing and threating to pay for it all out of her own pocket (which she can't afford either), I just don't know what to do. I'm stuck between a rock and a lump.
Beyond those more extreme problems, my fear of spiders has grown from my most recent interaction with one in my car while driving on 435. This happened TWICE in one week with the same spider and now I believe I am scarred for life. Damn thing almost made me wreck on two different days!
Beyond my own problems, Kris and I are doing well. We are happy and in love and functioning as your typical married couple. Although I worry about his health right now... as well as work things.
Anyhow, I'm hoping it will stop pouring soon, literally as well as figritively!
-Opening up my umbrella and facing the rain,
-Alyssa J.
About two weeks ago, I found a lump in my breast and as much as I would like to entertain the hope that it is probably nothing, I can't because only a few years ago my mother was plagued with breast cancer and eventually treated with a mesectamy. The thought that I may have breast cancer is all too real and although I jest and try to stay light hearted in front of others, I am truely burdened by the possiblility. It's not that the loss of a breast, or even the loss of both breasts will be the end of the world, it's the possibliity of it spreading, the possibility that my husband may not find my flat and scarred chest attractive, the possibility that I may never have the chance to breastfeed when Kris and I decide to have a child. Oh the possibilities and how they are my woes.
If the possibilities weren't enough to stress me...the fact that I can't truely know what my lump is for another six months sure does the trick. Since I was laid off from Famous Dave's in December and just got my job at NFM a few weeks ago, I have no insurance and there is a six month waiting period for any policy to kick in. Six months is a long time, cancer can spread rapidly in that amount of time...and not to mention the agony of waiting and not knowing. The only other option I would have outside of waiting the six months for the insurance is to find some other policy right now and wait the three months that it will take to kick in...but we just don't have that kind of money.
Everything would be fine if my Mother wasn't constantly pushing me to make some sort of action. I can realize on my own that Kris and I have no money to deal with this right now, I can realize that and deal with it and I can patiently wait for when the day comes that I can get this figured out. But with my Mother constantly calling and pushing and threating to pay for it all out of her own pocket (which she can't afford either), I just don't know what to do. I'm stuck between a rock and a lump.
Beyond those more extreme problems, my fear of spiders has grown from my most recent interaction with one in my car while driving on 435. This happened TWICE in one week with the same spider and now I believe I am scarred for life. Damn thing almost made me wreck on two different days!
Beyond my own problems, Kris and I are doing well. We are happy and in love and functioning as your typical married couple. Although I worry about his health right now... as well as work things.
Anyhow, I'm hoping it will stop pouring soon, literally as well as figritively!
-Opening up my umbrella and facing the rain,
-Alyssa J.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter Sunday Maddness
Like I have said before, Kris and I have been married for almost nine months now. Since the day we exchanged rings I feel like our bond has grown, my last name has changed and that's really about it. Otherwise, we are the same old crazy-in-love couple we always were...and I like that. I don't think I would have been ready for my entire world to turn upside down, I can barely handle planning out the holiday hooplah! Like Easter for examle, Kris and I have never really done an easter with either of our families since we have been together because we were always living out of town. Now that we are back, we had to figure out what we were going to do, as in whose family we were going to visit with for the holiday.
Of course we couldn't agree, so we ended up going to my Grandmother's house in Olathe from noon to two, driving to Topeka to go to his sister's house from three to five-thirty and finally driving to Kansas City to be at my Granny's house from five-thirty to seven-thirty. Afterwards I still had to go home and make a power point presentation for my history class and Kris had to go to bed early because he had to be up at four for work this morning.
It seemed like it was quite the loooong day. We have come to the conclusion that we will be alternating every year for Easter so that we won't have to run around so much anymore. Christmas has already reached this solution...and as for Thanksgiving.....we just have to do the running around I guess.
In the course of our Easter Sunday Maddness, I spit out the word "Googleable" in casual conversation. We couldn't decide if that's an actual word but I'll use it in a sentence to be clear. "I don't know if everyone in the world is actually googleable", as in I'm not sure if everyone can be googled. We did decide that it sounded pretty funny and we said it so many times that it sounded hilarious. We clumped it with "Rajgoyle"....another hilarious word we have discovered....but that's a whole nother story.
Singing in the rain, all April long,
Alyssa J.
Of course we couldn't agree, so we ended up going to my Grandmother's house in Olathe from noon to two, driving to Topeka to go to his sister's house from three to five-thirty and finally driving to Kansas City to be at my Granny's house from five-thirty to seven-thirty. Afterwards I still had to go home and make a power point presentation for my history class and Kris had to go to bed early because he had to be up at four for work this morning.
It seemed like it was quite the loooong day. We have come to the conclusion that we will be alternating every year for Easter so that we won't have to run around so much anymore. Christmas has already reached this solution...and as for Thanksgiving.....we just have to do the running around I guess.
In the course of our Easter Sunday Maddness, I spit out the word "Googleable" in casual conversation. We couldn't decide if that's an actual word but I'll use it in a sentence to be clear. "I don't know if everyone in the world is actually googleable", as in I'm not sure if everyone can be googled. We did decide that it sounded pretty funny and we said it so many times that it sounded hilarious. We clumped it with "Rajgoyle"....another hilarious word we have discovered....but that's a whole nother story.
Singing in the rain, all April long,
Alyssa J.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Here Comes the Train
Kris and I took the dogs for a walk after I got off work today. We went through a good portion of the Nall Hills neighborhood that we live in and on our way back home we may have found the house of our dreams, the house of our REALISTIC dreams that is. Anyone can want to live in a four story mansion with an Olympic sized in-ground pool in the background, but Kris and I have found the perfect house for us...that we may actually be able to afford. It is absolutely gorgeous with hard woods to die for! The bedrooms are a bit small but the kitchen that came straight out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine definitely makes up for it. It also has a brand new and fairly large deck, a stone fire place and a very spacious basement that could be easily finished. It is absolutely perfect...and now that we have found the house...all we have to do is get the loan.
As for the loan part....It's been a bit of a fear for us, we're afraid we won't be approved or we won't be approved for very much... and who even wants to think about debt with the economy the way it is right now...it can be scary business. But I guess that train is coming and we'd better jump on or watch our dream house speed away with it.
Sooooooo, on to the loan and serious financial part of our journey through life. Big steps for a newly wed couple. We are scared and excited and pumped and invigorated! Wish us luck as we continue to build an amazing life together!
Loving, Living, Laughing,
Alyssa J.
As for the loan part....It's been a bit of a fear for us, we're afraid we won't be approved or we won't be approved for very much... and who even wants to think about debt with the economy the way it is right now...it can be scary business. But I guess that train is coming and we'd better jump on or watch our dream house speed away with it.
Sooooooo, on to the loan and serious financial part of our journey through life. Big steps for a newly wed couple. We are scared and excited and pumped and invigorated! Wish us luck as we continue to build an amazing life together!
Loving, Living, Laughing,
Alyssa J.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The first post....
This strangely and understandably reminds me of xanga....oh the trials of those days, I am undoubtedly thanking God that I am no longer in high school.
On to the good stuff...
Kris and I have been happily married for almost nine months now! I can hardly believe it, I feel as if we just got married yesterday! Time really flies when you are happy and content! We are now in the process of house hunting because we feel that we are ready to work towards becoming home owners! I am so excited because everyday I see pieces of our lives fall into place and I am very pleased with the world we are building for ourselves. Although it will be in the distant future before we have a child, it is steps like these that make me look forward to beginning our family and a truer version of our lives.
Consumed in happiness, well-being and love,
-Alyssa J.
On to the good stuff...
Kris and I have been happily married for almost nine months now! I can hardly believe it, I feel as if we just got married yesterday! Time really flies when you are happy and content! We are now in the process of house hunting because we feel that we are ready to work towards becoming home owners! I am so excited because everyday I see pieces of our lives fall into place and I am very pleased with the world we are building for ourselves. Although it will be in the distant future before we have a child, it is steps like these that make me look forward to beginning our family and a truer version of our lives.
Consumed in happiness, well-being and love,
-Alyssa J.
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